Lesson 6: Repairing Relationships and Rebuilding Trust

🎯 Lesson Objectives

By the end of this lesson, participants will be able to:

• Recognize the relational damage caused by gambling behaviors.
• Understand the difference between confession, apology, and amends.
• Begin identifying relationships that need healing and boundaries that need to be set.
• Take the first steps toward rebuilding broken trust with humility and consistency.

🧠 Quote

“Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets.”
— Kevin Plank

📖 Scripture

“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift… First go and be reconciled to them…”
— Matthew 5:23–24 (NIV)

🎬 When Sorry Isn’t Enough

Devon confessed to his wife about his gambling after draining their savings. He was sincere and emotional and promised change. But within weeks, she still didn’t trust him. She checked every transaction. She was distant. Devon felt punished, but what he didn’t realize was that trust isn’t just rebuilt by words. It’s rebuilt by patterns. Real change takes time, consistency, and humility.

🧠 The 3 Levels of Repair

1. Confession – Admitting the truth without excuses or minimizing.
   • Example: “I used the rent money to gamble again.”
2. Apology – Expressing sorrow for the pain caused.
   • “I’m sorry for lying to you. I know it hurt you.”
3. Amends – Taking responsibility and making efforts to repair the damage.
   • “I’ve signed up for accountability and given you access to our finances.”

Recovery is not just a personal journey—it’s a relational one.

✍️ Journaling Prompts

• Who has been affected by my gambling, directly or indirectly?
• What do I need to confess—not to clear my guilt, but to offer truth?
• What amends might be necessary (emotional, financial, spiritual)?

🛠 Recovery Skill: The 4 R’s of Trust Repair

1. Responsibility – Own your actions and their consequences.
2. Remorse – Show empathy without being defensive.
3. Restitution – Ask: “What can I do to make this right?”
4. Reliability – Keep your commitments over time.

🔑 Broken trust isn’t restored by a single conversation—it’s restored by consistency.

💬 Boundaries Matter

Not everyone will forgive right away—and some may not at all. Respect their process. If trust was broken, it’s okay for them to want distance. Don’t pressure them to “get over it.” Instead, focus on what you can control: your growth, your honesty, and your follow-through.

🙏 Prayer for Relational Healing

“God, I confess that my actions have hurt people I love. Please give me the courage to speak truth, the grace to listen without defense, and the patience to rebuild what I’ve broken. Teach me how to make amends, and help those I’ve hurt begin to heal—whether or not they’re ready to trust again. I trust You to guide me through this. Amen.”

✅ Recovery Challenge

Write a letter of responsibility (you don’t have to send it yet). In the letter:

• Acknowledge what happened
• Share how you’ve begun changing
• Express your desire to rebuild trust
• Ask what they need from you—without pushing

Then, read it aloud to yourself, a counselor, or a safe accountability partner. Let it be the beginning of relational repair.